22nd trip to RCH…

Yes Chiara looks happy in the photo’s… but to be honest most of the cast’s were deeply traumatic. The team at the RCH had such difficulty casting her, she would resist with all her strength and to my surprise it would take at least 3 adults to hold her body into place so they could get the correct position. Unfortunately at times, I had to be one of these people who helped to hold her still.. in between hysterical screams her eyes would open and lock into mine.. I felt as though her interpretation would be of betrayal… mum why are you letting them do this to me… as much as I would will myself to “keep it together” most times my tears would flow with hers. Oh Chiara, not long now.

I would come home and share with Mauro how worried I was, why is the casting taking so long? We were only due to have between 6-9 casts, why is Chiara taking so long to heal and why are the team struggling so much with her – surely they have cast 1000’s of babies before.. why is she different? Chiara’s cry was effecting everyone, I could feel the deep concern and confusion from the therapists…& I felt 100% helpless.

At night I would lie in bed, after hours of googling.. Microcephaly….Talipes…. trying to connect the dots. My mind would spin off into all sorts of realties.. what is happening to my little poppet? And insomnia set in.

All these trips to and from the hospital, upon nights of little Chiara unsettled and waking regularly through the night, broken sleep… continual appointments… i was feeling more and more exhausted…

 

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